I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
