is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
