is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
