if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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