I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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