The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
