walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
