Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
