no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
