He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
