I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
