I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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