I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
