hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
