you turned your livingroom into a bong?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
