Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
