i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
