Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
