i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
