The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
