i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
