Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
