I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
