I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
