my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
