try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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