Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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