I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
