He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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