don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
