Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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