He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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