I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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