Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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