Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
