It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
