p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
