My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
