Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i already hear my dad disowning me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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