i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
