dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This is my gift to your gina
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
