hell yes lets make some ravioli
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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