He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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