Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
