I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
