Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
