I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
