i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
