Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
