I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
