North Korea, Best Korea!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
