Please, let me fuck your mom
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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