Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
