she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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